Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
