she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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