aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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