Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize