Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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