I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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