then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize