Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
