I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
