Sponge bath it is.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
