I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
