He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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