I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
