once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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