Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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