It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
