Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
