I love having hate sex.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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