Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
