I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize