I'm going to jail i love you
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
