What a fucking waste of an outfit
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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