it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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