Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
