2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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