NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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