He told me they were just razor bumps!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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