I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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