I'd wear matching sweaters with you
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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