So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
