Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize