it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Randomize
