Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
is this the sara with the beer cane?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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