under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
