Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
