A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
id be glad to
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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