im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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