He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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