So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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