i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I still have a little drunk in my system
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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