Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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