i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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