apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
