Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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