I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
