Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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