Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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