i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
