I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize