Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
