wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
