I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
