Moan for me like Helen Keller
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Sober January is a disaster.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
