Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just forgot I was standing up.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
