oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
