my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize