Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
