yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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